i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom
my mom says i have to go to bed now which one of u meaners told
who the fudge changed ‘fudgers’ to ‘meaners’
WHO CHANGED IT FROM FUCKERS TO FUDGERS I WILL KILL THE POPE DONT TEST ME
(via neutralmilkurl)
SO THE BACK DOOR IS OPEN AND SOME RANDOM KID HAS WALKED INTO MY HOUSE. HE IS LITERALLY JUST ROAMING AROUND THE HOUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN RANDOM CHILDREN WALK INTO YOUR HOME?
he keeps calling me daddy.
i am a female.
i hope you enjoy reblogging one of the scariest moments of my life. i was in the same house a a four year old serial killer.
are you my daddy?
(via funnybro)
I wonder what President Lincoln would think about there being a movie about him killing vampires.
“whats a movie”
(via wickedforgood)
Anyone who thinks Shakespeare is boring apparently missed the greatest stage direction ever written:
I want that to be the final line of my biography.
let’s not forget about this gem from macbeth
(via doctorspockspaceman)
GUYS HELP SOMETHING HAS BEEN TAPPING ON MY WINDOW FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES I’M SCARED TO GO LOOK
oh my gOD
(via funnybro)
i ordered a pizza at 11:55pm on new years eve and then when the delivery guy came at 12:20 i told him my pizza should be free because i ordered it last year
was it free
(via nobodyaskedpatrice)
this is probably the most accurate commercial on tv right now.
My life perfectly right here.
(via nobodyaskedpatrice)
my favourite picture on tumblr ever
I AM LAUGHING SO HARD BECAUSE I THOUGHT OF 22 AND I SAID “TOOTY TWO” OUT LOUD AT 4AM OH GOD
THREETY THREE THOUG H
FORTY FOUR TH-
wait
(via nobodyaskedpatrice)
